The Blog
Unpacking ‘Internalized Ableism’ in Neurodivergent Adults
Internalized ableism in autistic adults develops from years of societal pressure to conform to neurotypical norms, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-doubt about natural autistic traits. Many struggle with masking, burnout, and the belief that they must push through challenges without support, often blaming themselves rather than recognizing the systemic barriers that create these difficulties. Overcoming internalized ableism involves unlearning these harmful messages, embracing self-acceptance, and recognizing that autistic ways of thinking, communicating, and existing are valid and deserving of respect.
Unmasking: Why It’s Harder Than It Sounds & What to Expect
Unmasking as a neurodivergent person is a complex and often challenging process, requiring us to unlearn years of societal conditioning while navigating uncertainty, emotional shifts, and potential social consequences. While it can be liberating to embrace our true selves, it also comes with risks, including misunderstandings from others, workplace difficulties, and the struggle to recognize our own authentic identity after years of masking. By approaching unmasking with patience, self-compassion, and support from neurodivergent communities, we can create a more sustainable and fulfilling way of existing in the world.
Creating a Life Around Your Special Interests
Special interests are a fundamental part of how many neurodivergent people engage with the world, providing joy, structure, and a sense of purpose. Rather than suppressing these passions to fit societal expectations, we can create fulfilling lives by integrating them into our careers, social connections, and daily routines. Embracing special interests without guilt or pressure to monetize them allows us to build meaningful experiences that align with our natural ways of thinking, learning, and expressing ourselves.
The Joy of Info-Dumping: Why Sharing Our Passions Should Be Celebrated
Info-dumping is a joyful and meaningful way for neurodivergent people to share their passions, but it is often misunderstood as excessive or socially inappropriate. Rather than being a flaw, info-dumping is a valid form of communication that allows for deep connection, self-expression, and the exchange of valuable knowledge. Embracing and normalizing info-dumping can help create more inclusive spaces where neurodivergent individuals feel heard, respected, and free to engage with the world in a way that feels natural to them.
How to Create Neurodivergent-Friendly LGBTQ+ Spaces
Creating neurodivergent-friendly LGBTQ+ spaces requires intentional efforts to accommodate sensory sensitivities, diverse communication styles, and executive functioning challenges that many neurodivergent individuals face. Traditional LGBTQ+ spaces often rely on high-energy socializing, unstructured interactions, and overwhelming environments that can exclude or exhaust neurodivergent members of the community. By incorporating structured events, quiet areas, multiple communication options, and sensory-friendly accommodations, we can build spaces where LGBTQ+ neurodivergent individuals feel genuinely welcome, understood, and able to fully participate in ways that honor their needs.
The Silent Struggle of Postpartum Depression in Late-Diagnosed Autistic Women
Postpartum depression in late-diagnosed autistic women is often misunderstood and overlooked, as it presents not just as emotional distress but also as sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction, and deep exhaustion from masking and societal expectations of motherhood. Many autistic mothers struggle to access appropriate support due to medical professionals’ lack of understanding, the isolating nature of neurotypical parenting spaces, and the pressure to meet unrealistic standards of caregiving. Recognizing the unique challenges autistic mothers face, advocating for accommodations, and creating sensory-friendly, structured postpartum care can make a significant difference in ensuring that autistic women receive the support they need to not just survive but thrive in motherhood.
Why Autistic People Hate ‘Small Talk’ (And Why That’s Okay)
Autistic people often struggle with small talk because it feels unnatural, lacks depth, and requires rapid social processing that can be overwhelming. While neurotypical society views small talk as an essential social skill, many autistic individuals find more fulfillment in deep, meaningful conversations that allow for genuine connection. Instead of forcing ourselves to engage in draining surface-level interactions, we should embrace our natural communication style and advocate for social spaces where autistic ways of engaging are respected and valued.
Pregnancy as an Autistic Woman: A Sensory and Emotional Overload
Pregnancy can be an overwhelming experience for autistic women due to heightened sensory sensitivities, unpredictable bodily changes, and the challenges of navigating a healthcare system that is not designed with neurodivergent needs in mind. Medical appointments, social expectations, and emotional fluctuations can make the process exhausting, especially when communication barriers and sensory overload are not accommodated. Understanding these challenges, advocating for necessary support, and making adjustments to manage sensory and emotional well-being can help autistic women navigate pregnancy in a way that honors their unique needs.
How Ableism Hides in ‘Well-Meaning’ Advice
Ableism often hides in everyday conversations through well-meaning but dismissive comments like "Just try harder," "Everyone’s a little ADHD," or "You don’t seem autistic," which invalidate neurodivergent experiences and reinforce harmful stereotypes. These statements ignore the real struggles of autistic and ADHD individuals, downplay the need for accommodations, and pressure neurodivergent people to mask their differences. Challenging these subtle forms of ableism requires education, self-advocacy, and a shift in societal understanding so that neurodivergent individuals are respected and supported rather than dismissed or expected to conform.
Masking Is Not a Social Skill—It’s a Survival Mechanism
Masking is not a social skill but a survival mechanism that autistic and ADHD individuals develop to navigate a world that does not accommodate their natural ways of being. While masking helps avoid rejection and punishment, it comes at a significant cost to mental health, identity, and relationships, often leading to chronic burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself. Unmasking is a gradual process of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding spaces where authenticity is safe, allowing neurodivergent individuals to build lives that align with who they truly are rather than who they are expected to be.
The Reality of Burnout for Autistic and ADHD Adults (And Why Rest Is Not Enough)
Autistic and ADHD burnout is a deep, long-term exhaustion that goes beyond typical stress, often resulting from years of masking, unmet needs, and constant overexertion in a world that does not accommodate neurodivergent people. While rest is important, it is not enough to recover fully, as true healing requires reducing demands, unmasking, setting boundaries, and making lasting lifestyle changes. Recognizing burnout, advocating for support, and redefining success on neurodivergent terms are essential steps toward sustainable well-being.
Birth Control and the Autistic Brain: How Contraceptives Affect Mood, Sensory Sensitivities, and Mental Health
Autistic individuals often experience unique challenges with birth control, as hormonal contraceptives can intensify sensory sensitivities, mood swings, executive dysfunction, and mental health struggles. Despite these significant effects, medical professionals rarely consider autism when prescribing birth control, leaving many autistic people without adequate support or informed options. Greater awareness, research, and advocacy are needed to ensure that autistic individuals receive contraceptive care that aligns with their sensory, cognitive, and emotional needs.
PMDD, Autism, and the Hormonal Rollercoaster No One Warned Us About
Autistic women are more likely to experience severe premenstrual symptoms, including Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), due to heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, and executive dysfunction challenges. Hormonal fluctuations can intensify sensory overload, trigger extreme mood swings, and disrupt daily functioning, yet medical professionals often dismiss these struggles, leaving many autistic women without proper support. Increased research, medical recognition, and awareness are urgently needed to address the intersection of autism and PMDD so that autistic individuals can access effective treatment and accommodations.
The ‘Good Girl’ Trap: How Gendered Expectations Delay Autism and ADHD Diagnoses
Late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD women often fall into the "good girl" trap, where societal expectations of politeness, compliance, and perfectionism mask their neurodivergence and delay diagnosis. This lifelong conditioning leads to chronic masking, burnout, and self-doubt, as many struggle to meet impossible neurotypical standards while feeling like they are constantly failing. Breaking free from this trap involves unmasking in safe spaces, setting boundaries, rejecting people-pleasing, and embracing self-acceptance, allowing neurodivergent women to live authentically rather than performing for the comfort of others.
Autism and Menstruation: Why Periods Are Harder for Autistic Women
Autistic women often experience menstruation more intensely due to sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, pain processing differences, and a lack of proper education tailored to their needs. The discomfort of menstrual products, difficulties in tracking cycles, hormonal mood swings, and medical professionals who dismiss their concerns make periods even more challenging to manage. Addressing these struggles requires better education, accessible healthcare, and accommodations that recognize the unique ways autistic women experience menstruation.
The Real Reason Autistic Adults Struggle with Mental Health (And It’s Not Autism)
Autistic adults struggle with mental health not because of autism itself, but because of lifelong masking, systemic ableism, social isolation, and barriers to healthcare, employment, and community support. The pressure to suppress autistic traits, navigate inaccessible environments, and conform to neurotypical expectations leads to anxiety, depression, and burnout. To address this crisis, society must shift from forcing autistic people to change and instead create accessible, affirming spaces that allow them to thrive as they are.
Autistic People Have Always Existed—Society Just Didn’t Want to See Us
Autistic people have always existed, but society has historically ignored, misinterpreted, or erased their presence by labeling them as eccentric, disabled, or socially deviant rather than recognizing their neurodivergence. Throughout history, autistic individuals have been revered in some cultures, institutionalized in others, and forced to conform to neurotypical standards, often at great personal cost. The modern rise in autism diagnoses does not mean autism is new, but rather that society is finally beginning to recognize and name the experiences of people who have always been here.
The Quiet War Against Neurodivergent Parents
Neurodivergent parents, particularly autistic and ADHD parents, face systemic discrimination in custody battles, child welfare cases, and interactions with medical and educational institutions due to ableist assumptions about parenting competence. Their differences in communication, executive functioning, and sensory processing are often misinterpreted as neglect or unfitness, leading to increased scrutiny, loss of parental rights, and constant fear of the system. To stop this injustice, legal, medical, and educational systems must recognize and accommodate neurodivergent parenting styles rather than punishing parents for not conforming to neurotypical expectations.
The Dangerous Ableism in ‘Early Intervention’ and Why It’s Not What Autistic Kids Need
Early intervention for autistic children is often framed as necessary for their success, but in reality, it is rooted in ableist assumptions that prioritize making children appear less autistic rather than supporting their natural development. Many intervention programs focus on compliance-based training, teaching children to suppress their natural behaviors instead of creating environments that accommodate their needs, leading to long-term harm, including masking, anxiety, and loss of self-trust. Instead of forcing autistic children to conform to neurotypical expectations, true support should center on affirming their neurodivergence, providing accommodations, and fostering environments that allow them to thrive as they are.
How Schools Teach Neurodivergent Kids to Hate Themselves (And How We Can Stop It)
The education system teaches neurodivergent children to hate themselves by forcing them to conform to neurotypical expectations, punishing them for their natural behaviors, and prioritizing compliance over real learning. Autistic and ADHD students are frequently misunderstood, disciplined for traits they cannot control, and made to feel like they are broken rather than supported in ways that align with their needs. To stop this cycle of harm, schools must adopt flexible, inclusive approaches that recognize neurodivergent strengths, provide necessary accommodations, and shift from punishment-based models to supportive, trauma-informed education.